Category Archives: animals

Picture Fun

Pic Post- Cleaning Out My Desktop

Joke of the Day

A stockman named Bluey was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in NSW when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust.
The driver, a young man in a fancy suit, Gucci shoes, Prada sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked the stockman, “If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, Will you give me a calf?”
Bluey looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, “Sure, why not.”
The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his Apple iPhone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.
The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany. Within seconds, he receives an email that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response.
Finally, he prints out a full-colour, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer, turns to the stockman and says, “You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves.”
“That’s right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves,” says Bluey.
He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on with amusement as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.
Then Bluey says to the young man, “Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?” The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, “Okay, why not.”
“You’re a senator in Julia Gillard’s Labor Government”, says Bluey. “Wow! That’s correct,” says the yuppie, “but how did you guess that?”
“No guessing required.” answered the stockman. “You showed up here even though nobody called you, you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You used millions of dollars worth of equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are, and you don’t know a thing about how working people make a living – or about cows, for that matter. This is a herd of sheep… now give me back my dog”.

quote of the day

” I know your name is ___________ and you live on ____________ and you kicked my chicken”
– A small child who called my Mother In Law sobbing hysterically from a blocked number at 10:15 last night. Apparently the child was quite certain MIL was on a walk and kicked her chicken. MIL said she didn’t go on a walk at all, let alone kick any chickens. Wifey said MIL was quite adamant that she did not kick a chicken, especially another persons chicken. The sort of craziness that happens in and around really small towns just can’t be made up.

Oregon Trail Series #2 What The Oregon Trail Taught Me About Survival

1. Mr. “I’ll take 4 oxen and all the bullets $1600 will buy me” was amusing. At least he was amusing to me, Wifey who played the game as a kid also didn’t see the humor, I think that was because every boy went the all bullets route at least once. Our results were invariably unsuccessful. Breaking down or starving to death way before getting anywhere near running out of bullets. You have got to allocate your resources to meet many different needs. All the bullets in the world will not feed you. All the food in the world will not help a sick kid. Medicine doesn’t make up for not having a spare jacket or a broken axle. Prudent people allocate their resources diversely to meet their many needs.

2. To capture this significant issue in its own lesson; bullets will not solve every problem or keep you reliably fed. Sure you can hunt but even a great shot might not see game that often. You need to store food.

3. Sanitation and hygiene are important lest you want to die of dysentery. That pretty much speaks for itself.

4. Something will happen so you don’t want to spend all of your money. If anything the game under emphasizes this point. You don’t know what is going to happen. It could be running low on oxen or the need to replace that extra spare axle. People take cash so you better have some available.

5. People die and not just random strangers but people you know. The game made this almost laughable with like a 30 percent mortality rate but lets not ignore the point. To think that your family will get through a prolonged dangerous period without outside assistance is probably naive. [Especially if that time included multiple violent confrontations it is almost laughable. If you think some guns, maybe a bit of body armor and a day once in a blue moon in the backyard trying to do battle drills will mean you come out heroically and surprisingly and completely unscathed you’re more optimistic than I am. Once you consider that these contacts are more likely to be defensive than offensive the odds get even worse.] Getting your medical training and supplies squared away is a darn good start. Being careful and using proper safety equipment is prudent also. Someone truly out in the hinder boonies probably needs to worry a lot more about a slip with an ax then a gunfight. However while I encourage you to prepare as fully as possible for all these situations it is worth squaring yourself up with the fact that someone could die.

6. Whatever the risk don’t be afraid to seek opportunities. There are always risks in life. However if you refuse to pursue any opportunities because there is some risk involved you won’t get much of anywhere. It could be moving to another state for a new far better paying job with some real potential or deciding to become a single income household. It might be moving to a rural home, into alternate housing or even off grid. All of these possibilities have some risks (though death from dysentery is low on the list) that need to be accepted. Don’t be afraid to accept some risk.

7. Be prepared for a long journey. No matter how much you spend or how hard you work the road to preparedness, like the trail from Independence, Missouri to the Willamette Valley, is very long. Some times it is going to seem like it will never end but unless you keep moving the end never comes. Then you just end up in Nebraska or Wyoming which are nice enough places but much harder to farm in than the Willamette Valley.

Maybe We Can Actually All Get Along

Tiger, Lion and Bear form unusual friendship.

Plan For Your Pets Too

It was a pretty busy day today. Went to do some shopping and had a reasonable if not complete success. Now we are watching a show on National Geographic about some folks who came to NO after Katrina to rescue animals that had been left behind. They found all sorts of animals and one particular dog which got rescued from on top of a roof drank 3 gallons of water without stopping. The poor thing looks like a walking skeleton. It was one of dozens of examples just on this show.

The lady on the TV first said that she believes people should never evacuate without their animals. Secondly she said the government should never force people to leave their animals behind.

I think a long complicated discussion could be had about the government (really at all levels and in all agencies involved) did wrong during Katrina. However that isn’t so much my point in this post.

My point is that you need to plan for your pets too. Plan to feed them and take care of their basic needs. Plan to take them with you.

Whatever government agency comes to save the helpless and the foolish can make whatever rules they want about under what conditions they will help you. Sometimes they might even compel you to evacuate with force.Then you are defenseless in the fucking Superdome. I am a tough well trained guy but against 4 or 5 thugs without a piece or a machete I am going to loose.

If you evacuate yourself you can do it under whatever circumstances you are capable of. I personally would like to with my wife and our poorly behaved fat disrespectful cats and the means to protect my wife and the previously mentioned fat disrespectful cats. I would also bring enough food and water to sustain us for awhile, some form of shelter and cash to keep us going wherever we end up.

Failing to plan is planning to fail.